My sister's coming today!

I'm at the airport right now... blogging when I should be getting ahead on some reading for one of my classes, but .... there's free wi-fi at Logan and I'll be unattached from the internet most of the weekend. Why would I pass that up?



My sister Colleen (above), 24, in grad school for Psychology, engaged, and getting married JULY 25, is in the air right now.... and once she lands we're heading to South Station to catch the MegaBus to go to NYC! We'll be staying near Williamsburg (brooklyn) with our oldest brother Walter...who fits right into that hipster neighborhood. ;)

Here's Walter in the middle--


I'm excited to log some sibling time....in the big city! And I'm really looking forward to this time with Colleen. It's a rare time that we'll only get to share in once. We're both engaged and both getting married this summer, one month apart!!! Which is absolutely NUTS, yes, I know!

The poor parents.


And not 2 months after that, on Sept. 10 my other older sister Christiana gets married in Wash. DC!!! Christiana is below... 2 to the left of me, greenish dress. This picture is of me and all of my sisters!


Now THAT is nuts.

:)

I can't wait for the reactions from people who don't yet know this,.... when they get all 3 invitations....

It's a fun time though, and we're all extremely excited. Not just about our own weddings, but about our sisters' too! I'm a bridesmaid in Colleen's and she and Christiana are bridesmaids in mine. In Christiana's wedding I'm going to sing! (?) Still not sure WHAT, exactly.

It's hard to stay "grounded" and be engaged (not in the "diamond ring" sense of that word) here at GORDON when there's so much going on. I'm tired of being so busy that I can't just take the time and grab a coffee with a friend I've had since Freshman year or a friend I made this past year. Well, this coming week, I'm gonna try to see / hang out with 2 or 3 of those girl friends since it's been a really long time since I've done some HANGING OUT.

Last fall I was excited when I realized I only needed 10 more credits so I thought my life would be a lot more freed up to do a lot of this hanging out while also having time to plan my wedding and help my sisters plan theirs. Funny that I feel busier than I was last semester, though. I intern 4 days a week so that is where all that "extra time" is going. Have to pull in money from somewhere, though to pay for groceries and all that.

If anyone were to ask me later down the road what do you wish you did differently your senior year, I will probably say I wish I could have spent more time with friends I've made at Gordon.
So what's the solution if I can't cut back hours from the internship? I think trying to become someone that doesn't need 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night. That would be awesome. ;)

Well, while I keep pondering that, I have to run. Her flight is coming in now but I'll write again soon.

I'm excited for our New York / Boston adventure. We're taking the ChinaTown bus for our trip back to BOS!!! :) Usually there's a story out of that experience.

Enjoy the weekend, the warmer weather, but most of all, just enjoy life!

Wedding Inspiration from greenweddingshoes

she's back? maybe....

I feel like posting again!
I decided to kill off this blog a while ago ... or I mean, let it die out.... but I have been getting some inspiration from other people recently (thanks, Colleen!!) and now I feel I have some more to blog about.

It's been over a year.

What's changed?

So much! For one, I'm a senior at Gordon now.

I'm engaged to the man in my last post who had just become my boyfriend....

who is the most amazing man I have and will ever meet ... ForEVER and EVER

and we are currently planning our wedding (which is on JUNE 4!) and our life together!

While being a student, an intern at a PR firm in Manchester-By-the-Sea called Warner Communications, and a co-leader of Catacombs!

While searching for a job....

and while searching for a place to live with Colby after June 4.....

and trying to keep up friendships here at Gordon and everything else that goes with that. It's a crazy but busy year, but I'm loving it!

Not sure how much I'll get to post but I'd really love to let this become my springboard to wedding planning/inspiration and home/apartment decorating for now:)
I welcome and appreciate comments and any feedback you have!

South Carolina

I have been in the part of America known as the South. Pretty deep in the south. South Carolina where there are deer processing plants (rather, trailers that have signs for "deer processing HERE!") around.
Where 1 out of 2 vehicles are pickups...
Where you don't have to jump around too much before the sweat starts pouring out because of a hellish thing called HUMIDITY.
Where the Confederate flag flies high on some people's houses/trailers.
Where car insurance companies have to think about the deer.
Where the drink of choice is SWEET tea.
Where Waffle House and Cracker Barrel are great places to eat according to some.
Where Waffle House is a disgusting trucker's stop and really just a great place to do people watching.
Where you see more cows than people.
Where going to Wal-Mart is the social thing to do...it's the meeting place for many.
Where there are churches on every corner and most people go to some church.
Where people smile and wave when you let them in your lane or let them turn.
Where people smile and say hi when you pass them on the street or in a store.
Where you worry about droughts or the slightest bit of freezing rain/snow/ice. --Schools will shut down, roads close, people will complain about driving in bad weather, and the news stations urge you to: "Stock up on your milk and bread! it's gettin' down tonight!"
Where everything sounds sweeter...there is a kind of warm tone in that southern accent.
Where people know about hospitality.
Where you get to choose "a meat and 3." 3 meaning, 3 side dishes!
Where biscuits and gravy, oatmeal cream pies, moon pies, twinkies, cornbread, grits, turnip greens, okra, boiled peanuts, and fried chicken (among others) are in great abundance.
Where bug spray is something you just get used to applying... and you get used to stinking from it.


There is a lot I like about the South. Some things on that list, but some things not on the list. I am in a part of SC called "Due West." Yes, that's the town's name. They have their own zip code even. Everyone always wonders yeah but due West of WHAT? It's just Due West. In the middle of no where. In the boonies. In the sticks. Where they have "Dixie High School" and Erskine College (where my sister graduated from). It's a TINY little town. Blink and you might just miss it! It takes an hour to get to Greenville. About 30 mins to get to Anderson, like 45mins to get to Easley, and 20ish minutes to Greenwood (the nearest WalMart and mall)... You get used to driving a good distance.
I have been here for 2 weeks though it feels longer.... yeah my semester at Gordon finished and it finished WONDERFULLY. Very happy because something very very unexpected happened. I have a boyfriend! That is talk for another post, but I will say it was a difficult but good semester and grades went up yesterday.... and I can't complain too much.
I am staying with my sister who graduated til Saturday when she takes me up to Flat Rock, NC to go to Camp Greystone. I'll be working there/staying there until Aug. 14, and then I fly back to MA on the 15! It seems like Aug. is very far away, but I'm hoping that once camp starts and i get busy again, time will speed up a little.
Why am I so desperate to get through this summer and why don't I want it to go by slowly? There's someone I miss and really want to see at the end of the summer. :-) But I'll make it. I'm pretty excited to be a counselor.... I've never done it but have always wanted to. I can remember when I was 11 and 12 going to Camp Bonclarken (about 15mins from Greystone) saying I wanted to be a counselor one day. And I didn't think I'd ever get old enough to be one, but here I am. 20 years old, almost a junior in COLLEGE! Holy Cow, how did that happen?!!!
Greystone is a Christian all-girls camp that's been running for 90 years. It'll be a good experience for me since i'll not only be a counselor but I'll be instructing KAYAKING. I'm pretty excited about that part even though I haven't done THAT much kayaking myself. I will learn, as soon as I get to camp, all that I need to know about how to teach the basics. And I'll be on the water pretty much every day.
While I've been waiting for camp to start, I have been going to the gym a LOT and sitting around journaling, organizing my stuff for camp, looking for scholarships, reading, watching Heroes, Lost, and the Office, watching a few movies....sleeping in LOTS (often til 12 or 1pm!), staying up late, talking on the phone, and lying out in the sun a little. Colleen has been working a lot from 3-12am so that's why I've been sitting around so much. I'm a little lonely while she's not here, but I only have one more day of this. When she has had days off we've gone shopping and apartment hunting, working out, lying out, etc. So it's been fun.

That was my random post about the South and my recent happenings. Not sure when I'll post next but stay tuned for word about Greystone.

busy busy!

I'm run down.
I keep going going going... it's hard to say no to things.
But I'm trying. I am LOVING being on the worship team at church now. We have 3 backup singers including me so now we have started a rotation system in a sense... so everyone goes to practices on tuesdays but not all of us will sing on Sunday. I have this Sunday off and it'll be good to be able to sleep in one more hour this week :-p
School is pretty hard and I haven't been as committed/dedicated with my homework this semester. Not working nearly as hard and I don't know why ... I'm just letting it slide a bit more. Not a very good thing! I'm a little concerned about my FRENCH grade mostly. :-) French is kicking my butt because it's all new grammar stuff that I've never done.

I need to get out of here and take a break from life. Which is why i CAN'T WAIT for Spring Break in a week!! I'm going with my friends Courtnie, Charlotte, and Lucas! It should be exciting because we're takig an 18 hour road trip to Nashville, TN! Mt. Juliet, to be precise. Our week and a half should consist of going out in my friend's boat, going to a shooting range, going horseback riding, and hanging out in Nashville! I might get to see my favorite uncle there, too. We're staying with Courtnie's family though ... it's wicked exciting!

I finished working for this 89 year old man ... he was writing a book of his favorite quotes and little stories/anecdotes, so I helped him edit it and we went to a private local printer who printed up 50 copies! He gave me a copy so it's pretty cute. He is still very sharp, even though he's so old. Recently, his woman companion died! It was so sad. He told me on Monday she died in her sleep last night. :-( And then he said this was his 3rd girlfriend that he has outlived!!
I DON'T WANT TO GET OLD!! Poor man. I go over there now even though the book is done.... he drives a little Subaru and picks me up and takes me back after about 2 hours. One time I went over and just helped write checks for him! ...I get lots of history, lots of stories, and LOTS of his opinions on life and wisdom for me.
His best advice: Leave Gordon and go to a school that has men! haha! He also said I probably won't find a husband here because not only are there no guys, but guys in college are so young...so immature! haha he is just hilarious....
I've also noticed how RACIST he is... I can't even get into all that... but I just sit there and listen and nod... :-/
I was supposed to go over there yesterday but he forgot to come or maybe he fell asleep! He always is waiting for me in his car at 3:20 or 3:25 so it was really weird for him not to be there to pick me up. The best thing about this job: he pays $15/hour mostly for me to just sit there and keep him company. Paying bills is really not difficult, and neither was helping him put this book together! I'm praying for him... he grew up with a pastor as a father but he has completely turned away from the church and faith. He seems like he knows God exists but he doesn't care to have a relationship with Christ. He's getting old and I am just praying that I can be a light,...that Christ will shine through me and he will start to ask questions.

Well, Lent is here and I decided to try and give up COFFEE. Coffee is almost an addiction for me (i have at least one cup every morning and sometimes at night) so I am drinking tea now. I haven't had a headache yet, so after day 2 I am doing well! I am trying to get up just a little bit earlier every morning to do my devos before the day starts. So far so good in that area, too. I was trying to read my Bible at night last semester but recently I haven't been very consistent and it shows. Also, when I would read it at night I was always so ready for bed that I would rush through it and not get much from what I read.
I think that Lent is much more about what you start putting into practice. The time you get from sacrificing something (like maybe if you decide to give up Facebook) should be spent in the Word or praying or doing something beneficial to your Spiritual side of life. I am praying that Lent will be helpful for me and I'll be able to keep up the new morning routine after Easter.

back again

It's been a while now.... I've been back at Gordon for about 3 weeks and there is SO MUCH SNOW!! My body went through major shock coming back here :-( I miss California too much! Another storm came today and it was such a pain because I forgot to wear a hat or hood.

Why am I here??

But I know the answer to that question. I am glad I came to Gordon... I just can't really see myself living in a place that gets this cold in the winter for the rest of my life. Maybe if I have a winter home in a warm place LIKE CA....the New England fall and summer is pretty nice...

So I've started singing in my Church's worship team! Yes, another little thing to add into my schedule but it's very different from Catacombs because we use mics and it is something I've really been missing. I sang in choir lots in Congo and my church in SC and sometimes led worship with youth or sang solos up front in church growing up.... so it's been a while but i am back at the microphone :-)

I've also started working for Deirdre's (the lady I work for 1-2 times a week) father-in-law who is 89! He has put together a book of his favorite quotes or little stories from his life and it was printed up but in the wrong order and some things have to be changed/fixed, so that's my job! I go over to his house with my computer and edit everything for him. He thinks I'm a genius and a "very smart girl"... which to him is very unique these days. I disagree and say I'm not that smart but he reminds me that I've lived overseas with my parents and not many people in my generation have even left their state of birth! I'm not gonna lie... I'm trying very hard to be liked because he's a really generous guy, and he's old and ... maybe he'll sneak me into his will! NO!! -- JUST KIDDING! :-) That's horrible. But whenever I tell people what I'm doing now they're like "oh! that's awesome! Maybe he'll put you in his will!" ... one can only dream.
The first day I went over there he wasn't really sure what to do with me or how I could help so he said "I'm just gonna pay you $30 for your trouble of getting over here and I'll drive you back right now." It was weird but I couldn't complain! :-0 That's a little example of how nice this guy really is. And he's still so sharp/with it! He drives this little Subaru around everywhere... with his walking stick in hand... and remember, he is 89!

There isn't much else to say right now but I am back and I am going to try to keep this updated a little better now.

Classes are pretty good -- I don't have many! So it's a nice change.
later.

the plum of my pudding

So the break isn't over yet, but it sure feels like it is winding down!
The house has gotten quieter.
The grocery cart doesn't need to be nearly as full.
We don't have to sit in the back seats of the van.
There aren't as many dishes to wash. .. . . ..
Yes, the Shepard household is down to 4 kids now. 4! How weird.

We were all together except for my oldest sister Elisabeth, this year. Very unfortunate, but Elisabeth now lives in England with her little family. I hadn't seen Jim since Thanksgiving a year ago, and hadn't seen Colleen since last Christmas, so it was AWESOME seeing them all together again! And Walter and Christiana came too, of course.

We were up at Big Bear (in the mountains here in California) for 4 -almost 5- days renting a cabin for us to be in some SNOW around Christmas time ... because it just doesn't feel like Christmas time without some cold, wet (or frozen) weather! It was Niiice. Of course Colleen and Sarah had to go to Goodwill because they don't own anything snow-approved... they came back with a great purple nylon jumper (jumpsuit?) and a teal full body waterproof onesie! Oh and Sarah found some GREAT snow boots. Colleen got rainboots for Christmas so that worked out okay. They looked like genuine snow bunnies (from 1960)! Not that many of us looked STYLIN out there.... but they just looked the funniest! Jim of course has his nice legit snowboarding pants and boots, and nice winter clothes... Walter has plenty of winter clothes but he just didn't play out in the snow with us, and Christiana sort of struggled. We had to all donate some of our layers to her since she just came out of CongoLand! Mom, Theo, and Christiana didn't own any waterproof boots or shoes so they tied plastic grocery bags around their ankles over their shoes!! HAHA! It was a sight to see:-) Now I had just recently bought some Granny-boots--waterproof, fur-lined, warm, dry-- and I had plenty of silk or spandex layers to keep me toasty!! BOSTON! Hello! I had some great nylon pants that went perfectly over a pair of sweatpants to waterproof them. It all worked out. ;-) I'm not gonna lie. We all looked really funny!

I have more than enough pictures from those 4 days. We played in the snow -- made a "Snow Cat" and "Snow-Woman" (not -man), made a sweet hill for sledding, and roasted by the fire. Told lots of stories, had some discussions...one that ended in some tears but all was okay! ... played some games, watched some tv,....and ate LOTS. On the 3rd day we were there (i think), Jim took me, theo, and sarah to a rental place and we rented snowboards and skis! Sarah skiid (her snowsuit matched with the skis much better than a snowboard anyway!), and Theo and I attempted snowboarding! Jim of course has his own board, boots, and binding. We bought lift tickets for the full day and off we went.

After about the 5th or 6th time going down the bunny slope, Jim said I should try some bigger hills. I don't know why I agreed. ... . no, it was actually okay! But what i did NOT get was why it was so easy to start going down left foot first, then switch over to right foot first! Jim tried teaching me to lean forwards on my toes and sorta go backwards (hard to explain but maybe if you have snowboarded you know what i'm talking about?) to slow myself down instead of doing the snowplowing or switching over to right foot forward. I just couldn't do it. I smacked my butt and knees SO hard SO MUCH! I cried coming down one hill. I just kept getting back up and trying again, but it was way too hard to do what I was supposed to. I slowed myself down the wrong way most of the day for fear of breaking my butt. Not fun! But it was fun ... i really enjoyed snowboarding even though I was pretty bad at it. I like the feeling of it a lot better than skis. I don't feel as in control, but i think that's half the fun of it. You know how I love the rush of anything extreme!!
I stayed on the blue and green diamond slopes all day though. I wasn't stupid enough to go on the black diamonds;-) ... plus when you fall a lot just getting off the LIFT... that is embarrassing enough!
I met one guy on the lift with Sarah and he told me I was pretty and that if i am ever on tv (as a reporter), i should signal hi to him. We have a secret signal. Haha, he was funny! Of course I blew up the story when I got back saying "I met someone..." all excited like... but i can never keep a straight face long enough so no one believes me very long.

So being in California this long has gotten me missing it SOOOOO much. this is only (sarcasm) the 3rd time i've been back this year! WOW! We've been to the beach a couple times already and are TRYING to go this weekend. I really hope!
Okay enough for now. I want to tell the story of New Years Eve & New Years but can't. Sleep is a little higher up on the priorities list tonight.

My Auld Lang Syne

Lots of time has passed and so has lots of stuff! I mean lots has happened. It's been a very weird month...month and a half...okay let's just say a very weird year!

And now it's all over. 2008 is done and gone.

How strange how certain things turned out. Very different from how I expected them to turn out. Isn't that weird when that happens? You count on something so hard to go one way, and it decides to go the complete OTHER way. Darn. I'm trying to tell myself "this did NOT ruin my year!" but it sorta is true... Not so sure how much I like 2008. Welcome, 2009! Welcome!!

I need a fresh start. I know what I need but do I want it?
More unknown. Here it comes.

I was going through all my facebook "Friends" tonight and it got me thinking. Do I know these people anymore? Why should I still be "friends" with them? Are we ever going to see each other again? And yes, I actually deleted some. I can say that openly. When you haven't talked in a couple years and haven't seen people in more than that, I think it's safe to move on, don't you? So yes... I sorta weeded out some people from my facebook FRIENDS list. Looked at people's profile,... my how things have changed, I thought,... and then looked at the clock. WOW I am wasting my life away! What is wrong with me? What would I be doing right now if FB didn't exist?? That's a scary thought. but one that deserves an answer.

Happy New Year 4 days late. And here's to a truly NEW Year!

afterthoughts

How did I forget to mention that I've been seeing lots of my niece and nephew? My nephew is sitting and crawling or scooting around a lot now! And he is learning to eat... today during our big meal we let him try some peas and it was hilarious how he would push them around in his mouth a little and then suddenly spit them out... ;-) He's the cutest! And Valerie loves to tell us to "Settle down" and loves to say "Give me a boom!" (She learned it from a great friend Steve Cabalka...who i miss sooo badly!) It's more than cute. She says it in a lower voice because that's how Mr. C. says it... i just can't even explain it! You have to see it and hear it!! And today she said to my dad "No, give me a better boom!" because he kinda missed her knuckles... or she missed his. And she wants a goodnight boom and a "i went potty" boom now too :-)

My rents have 2 adjoining apartments in this missionary housing place called "House of Rest." Elisabeth & Matt live in an apartment one door down, so they are basically at Mom & dad's apartment with the 2 little ones all day. They've been here almost 2 months and get ready to move to England in a week or 2.... pretty crazy! We don't know when we'll see them again so I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with them all!

Theo and Sarah are doing great.... Sarah just found out she made JV soccer team and has her first game Tuesday,... and Theo loves youth group and has made several friends now. They are so happy to be living in CA, but we don't know what the rest of this year holds for them. They could be moving in Jan. or Feb. depending on where my dad finds a job. He has to find a job by Feb. and it could be in any state. We have no clue where they'll end up this time:-) It's all in God's hands so we are praying lots!
*yawn* okay! That's it! Goodnight

"Turkey Day!"

I Finally made it to my parent's place in Pasadena, CA for Thanksgiving! I got here on Monday night, and can't believe I only have a few days left....today obviously was thanksgiving, so HAPPY thanksgiving!

We had the traditional family spread.... gigantic turkey, cranberry sauce, my sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, 5 bottles of sparkling cider...you know... and it was ALL delicious!! On Tuesday I found out Mom and dad had planned on going out to eat this year. I furiously protested! A traditional home-cooked thanksgiving is what I had been looking forward to these past few months and what I spent so much money on a ticket for! No, of course I really bought the ticket to spend time with my family, but part of that is cooking and eating at home.... thanksgiving wouldn't be the same for me at a restaurant! So anyway me and Elisabeth (my oldest sister who is moving to England in 2 weeks) convinced the rents we had to stay here and Sarah, me, and her would do ALL the cooking so mom and dad wouldn't have to do anything.
We did all the cooking and clean up with a little help from Matt (Elisabeth's husband) and Theo. It was probably the smallest family thanksgiving we've ever had since it was just 4 siblings out of 8... but no, I guess 2 years in Congo we had only 3 siblings! But it really felt weird without my older brothers and Colleen. I am SO excited about Christmas when we all (minus Elis. & Matt) will be together. We just can't seem to get everybody here at once but that's life in a family of 8!

We did the whole "go around and say what you're thankful for" and I thought of so many things to say. I have so much to be thankful for. I say that every year but God has taught me a lot, given me a LOT, blessed me a lot, stretched me a LOT, matured me a lot, brought me through a lot,... and I know He will keep blessing me and working everything out.... :-)
Anyways i just wanted to write and say I'm thankful today. There are things in my life that I never thought I'd have today, and there are things or parts of my life that I don't have anymore today,... but God is helping me be optimistic and He just keeps helping me to trust Him and not worry about the future.
I've been trying to live in the Present and not take anything for granted.
It's time for bed.
Debating on whether or not I should take Sarah shopping this Black Friday.... :-/ hmm
Tempted!! We'll see... but first, I have a coffee date with my dad in the morning!!!

gross taste in my mouth

I'm 20!

What a weird age. It's not really that celebrated. It's kinda like 19 and 17... no one cares! oh and 11 isn't so great either. But my 20th was amazing. To start, I had a party on friday night with my closest friends. we dressed up obnoxiously 80's style and went BOWLiNG!!!!! It took weeks but i finally found a place IN MA that actually had REAL 10-pin bowling. Up here they have this weird bowling called "candlepin." I don't think it should be considered bowling.... you use miniature balls and i don't even know what. I don't know who made it up, but apparently I heard something like it was the original bowling? Naw... I won't believe it. It's made for people who have no strength and who want to make it easier on themselves. And people have candlepin bowling birthday parties? No thanks. I reserved lanes at a place like 25 mins away and we paid for an hour. it was so fun but needless to say,... my bowling skillz were lacking. Sometimes I used to get lucky. But seeing that I hadn't bowled in 3 years,... well... it was inevitable that I wasn't going to do very well. No matter what I did there would always be about 2 left standing. Not enough power!!


But yeah it was sweet. Everyone's costumes were great... and we went out for ice cream on the way home! Richardson's ice cream.... dairy fresh :-p Oh and then we watched a movie when we got back to campus!!

Saturday consisted of trying to make myself do my weekend homework. I failed.
Sunday was supposed to be just church and out to lunch for my birthday. Instead, I got something else.
Very early in the morning, becky, savannah, char, and koto come in my room and wake me up. I was totally disoriented, and asked what was going on.
"Get up, we gotta go!!"
"What? Where? Why?? It's so early!"
"Just come on"
"What time is it?"
"Just get dressed and put on sweats and a jacket!"
"I don't have a shirt on."
"Here, now hurry!"
"Are we going outside?"
They all look at me, laughing. (They are all dressed in coats and sweats. Of COURSE we're going outside.)

As soon as I could get out of bed and put on clothes, they threw a blindfold on me and led me downstairs outside. They made a rude joke about leading around a special girl. ;-) :-( They start running with me still holding their hands, I hear a car pull up, and Char pushed me in. Except I was turned backwards so i tried sitting but fell into the crack between the front and back seat (where your feet go)... i almost got stuck... it was the funniest thing ever since i was still half asleep! I was like WHERE ARE WE GOING?? the whole time and they wouldn't answer. They just kept saying hurry!! They helped me turn around and find the seat (i felt like i was upside down) ... and then we drove like 10mins... I had no idea where we were headed. I felt like I was being kidnapped. They dragged me out of the car again and started making lots of noise so that I wouldn't be able to tell where we were until we had walked a little bit. Then they took the blindfold off and I realized WE WERE AT THE BEACH!!!!!! And the sun hadn't come up yet! They threw down some blankets and I shouted with "glee" (haha i've always wanted to use that word!). We were here to see the sunrise on the beach!!





A little background break: I had written a list of 20 things I wanted to do when I was 20, before I turned 21. And on my 21st birthday I toast to the things I got done. Well number 16 is to watch the sunrise at Singing Beach.... so I got to check one off on the day of my birthday!!



It was the most perfect day and the most perfect sunrise! It was absolutely gorgeous, and not too cold! I felt pretty special. Just the fact that my friend Char had arisen at such an hour in the morning was a miracle and made me feel really good.... and Becky had gotten up too, and Koto drove us! And .... the idea was Charlotte's!!! It was sooo amazing. Now i've seen the sun SET and the sun RISE over the ocean and I still believe it is one of the prettiest things you can ever watch. And both times I saw such epic events (lol) I was with someone [or some people] very special. People I love. So it made my birthday! But that wasn't the end. I got blindfolded again (i think they just enjoyed watching me stumble around and ask dumb questions) and we stopped at Dunkin for breakfast. Then we went home and I took an hour nap before church. Church was so good, and then we dropped Lucas off at his dorm and Koto & Char were like "Eva we have to go to one more place now." I was like, what? Because we were supposed to just go back to Gordon and hang out until my friends could go out to lunch. So I had ANOTHER surprise ahead of me. We went to the mall, and when we got inside koto was like, "Eva our gift to you is a manicure!" So the 3 of us got manicures. I got a French:-) Looks so nice!!
As we were leaving, "Asian Island" caught our attention and Char said she wanted to pay for me to get a back massage. So we 3 got massages too! It was sooo nice. A little uncomfortable when the guy was massaging my BUTT ... but it really felt nice:-)

Then we went back to Gordon and picked up Emily, Savannah, and Becky, and went out to Carrabba's! That's a restaurant i used to love when we lived in SC so i wanted to go there again. It's Italian food.... and so of course I got fettuccini alfredo...with Shrimp! and i got sung to in Italian and a piece of delicious birthday cake! We didn't make it back to campus til like 5 and then it was basically the end of my birthday... time to STUDY and write a speech and paper... ew.
But Catacombs was at 8 so i went and practiced....and THEY gave me CUPCAKES and i got to blow out candles:-) and they gave me a signed card! So sweet and very much a surprise.
WHAT A BIRTHDAY!! It just made me realize what AMAZING friends I have here. I don't know How I'd do it without them. But they're so generous, genuine, sweet,. . . and FUN!!! Birthdays without family are always a little weird (still getting used to that) but this one was sooo good.

so how am i doing? Well... it's been rough. My birthday even was a little sad. There's a big part of my life that's still missing. And it'll be this way for at least another month. Maybe longer. Maybe forever. I don't even know and that is the hardest part. I don't know what there is left to hang on to but I can't forget about it or drop it either. It's part of me. Silence is NOT very golden right now (that was very cheesy; sorry). I have made it exactly 2 months but only because of God. I feel like this last month will be the hardest. It's been awesome having the support from my friends, and the great birthday they put together. I'm not ungrateful but life is different. I am just TRYING to get through... TRYING to focus on looking forward to when I'll be with my fam for thanksgiving (only 2 more weeks!)....and I feel like once thanksgiving passes things will start going really fast. We don't have much school left but most of my motivation is GONE. It's really hard to do work now.

I don't know why.

I don't know what my problem is.

I will get through with God's help though... I know that... I just want to feel sorry for myself and wallow a bit. :-(

evangeline