Turning the sighs into smiles

I can get so easily caught up in myself and what's happening to me that i forget to remember how God has been working this year in me and around me. I can get easily discouraged or stressed and I sometimes don't know what to do... but I know I can just go to Him with my problems, worries, fears...
Take tonight for example. I got home from school discouraged because I found out that my dad and I had miscommunicated about the FAFSA thing (long story but I'll just tell you it has not been submitted and Gordon's deadline for it was March 15!) so I sadly got online and tried applying, and sent our finance manager dude in the states an email with about 50 questions because my dad and I have no idea what our taxes in 2006 were, or our income or whatever!! FAFSA's so annoying! So that was just my first little thing that made me kinda mad. Then around 5:30 I was like "uh oh Nathalie's not gonna come and bring my prom dress to me!" ... my mom said "Don't despair until 10:00, there's still hope!" But she called me at 9 and said that she would have to bring the seamstress tomorrow and hopefully the dress will fit perfectly this time and I can stop worrying about it. I'm sure it will work out.

there's nothing to worry about!
FAFSA, my dress, and everything else on my mind right now ... it's all in God's hands. It will work out in the end, I just have to keep trusting Him!
This place really makes you learn how to do that. Nothing is for certain here. You can't depend on very much. The electricity and car problems are a constant reminder of that! You have to do a lot of praying and trusting, and it's been great for me to learn how to do that!

So as I think about this summer, ... and college ... and not being here next year, and new friends, I'm putting it all in His hands and I'm gonna try not to worry any more about anything.
I have had some awesome weeks recently...all because of friends and people, but school is not yet over. Exams are coming soon, and math is just relentless. It's not getting any easier! Thankfully I pretty much finished my main project for history and english class (a research paper), and that is getting judged next week, so i'm almost on the downhill slide. Prom is this weekend ---I am jumping up and down with excitement, and graduation is June 6th! There's a LOT to look forward to. Especially with this summer! Sometimes I just think "Why Me, God? I don't deserve all this! I don't deserve this kind of life you've given me with these kinds of people you've given me for friends!" But we don't deserve anything and God just gives it to us anyway, blessing upon blessing. That is the kind of God I serve! Yesterday I read something really cool. Here are just a few sentences I wanna share>>and I'll end it here. Because I'm TIRED!

If Jesus has divine power...then He has the supernatural ability to guide me and transform me as I follow Him.
If Jesus personally knows the pain of loss and suffering...then He can comfort and encourage me when things go wrong.
If Jesus loves me as He says... then He has my best interests at heart. That means I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by committing myself to Him.

Fou, fou, FOU!

Last weekend (not last but the week before that) was a lot of fun! First off I went to the adult boot camp and was extremely sore for the week after that... but it was fun anyway! Then I went to the Ivory Market (aka "Thieves Market") with the Cabalkas and Stones! Now the Thieves Market is exactly what the name says. It's downtown where you can find all sorts of interesting African art and artifacts...from paintings to rolls of snakeskin on tables (the market is set up under a roof with rows and rows of long wooden tables). And they got jewelry. Lots of jewelry! A lady visiting the Cabalkas, Paige, got real into the whole shopping thing and found some ivory bracelets she couldn't turn down! Sad, i know. But this is a place that has it all, as i've said. You have to bargain like crazy with the people. You walk past the tables, glance at what they have, and if you see something you like, you pick it up or point to it and ask how much it is. Normally they'll give you an outrageous price, like $20 for a simple hemattite or bead necklace,...or a tiny little wooden animal, and so you offer your price. Paige got good at it, and would always offer only 10% of what they asked for, and normally she came away with a pretty good deal. I was not looking for anything and didn't bring any money anyway, but that didn't mean anything to the guys selling. As soon as they see your face they yell to you. And if you're a woman, they call "Mommy! Mommy!" They automatically assume you don't speak french so they try out some of their broken but communicatable English- "Come! I'll give you best price! Good price madam, come! You like this? Yes? You take madam, name a price-- i give you best price..... For you mommy! for you!...." VERY annoying after a little while, with everyone calling "Mommy! Mommy!" or just "Madam!" ...They are so pushy. You have to hold onto your purse tightly (which is why I didn't bring one) because you can't trust anyone there. If your eyes stay a little too long on one table or if you touch something, the sellers assume you want it and are going to buy it, so when you say "No I don't want it" they won't believe you! One time I picked up something and said how pretty it was and the guy immediately asked, "How much? You name a price."
I said "No, I really don't want it thank you..."
"No I give you best price! Come!"
"But I don't want it and I do not have money!"
"$10? Give good price."
"Mais, je N'AI PAS d'argent!!!" (but i HAVE NO money!!")
And they look at me in bewilderment and ask again how much I'll give them. You'd think that by speaking french to them they'd believe it, but No!
So at that point you know it's time to just walk away. They just don't believe that you don't have money. You're white! Stop LYING! You're rolling in dough! ;-)
It's sad that that's what they think. After about 2 hours (which is way too long to stay in a place like that, but it wasn't bad on saturday, i actually had fun watching Todd and Steve bargaining and talking to the sellers...) we went to lunch at one of the best restaurants (this is where the pictures of us were taken...notice we look very well-fed and happy!), and after lunch we drove to the river. On the way, I started taking pictures out the window (this is when i took the pictures of the taxi and the man with the dozens of eggs on top of his head!). Quickly of course, because I didn't want to be seen. It is still illegal to take pictures here, but I couldn't resist. But still some guys saw me and gave me these crazy "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" looks. When we got stuck in traffic i put the camera away because any one of those guys could have come to our window and tried making us give him money because we weren't supposed to be takin pictures. We passed one building near "Taxi Central" as i call it, and there were a bunch of Mamans there waiting for a taxi. They saw me take a picture and soon had very irritated mad looks on their faces, and some people in our own car were getting nervous about me angering people, so at that, i turned the camera off and sulked. No, just kidding! But i did turn it off. But the day wasn't over yet!
We went to Chez TinTin, a little outdoor "restaurant" where we've gone before to sit facing the river, sipping some drinks, and watching the Congolese swim, boat, and whatever else. Last time we came Shannon was proposed to by a crazy (or just desperate) man! Something always a little crazy happens. This time it was my turn.
followed to watch. Mrs. Cabalka asked me if I thought it would be okay to take pictures, and i thought "sure, why not? there's no one around here watching..." and i grabbed her small digital camera. I followed the guys and took a few pictures of their backs walking toward the river. All of a sudden I hear "Vaaaaaange!!!" (my nicknaTodd and Steve decided it was high time they got into the rapids of the Congo river to see how strong they really were and float down the river just a bit. They took off their shirts and started climbing down the rocks, and Ime, yelled in a desperate tone:-)) and I stop and turn around. Right there is a man dressed in a wanna-be soldier-looking uniform. I looked around for his gun, but he didn’t have one so I stayed calm. I quickly put the camera in my front pocket but I knew he had seen me taking pictures already because of the look on his face. He was trying to be intimidating but I wasn’t going to fall for that. He immediately questioned me in French“What do you think you’re doing? Why were you taking pictures?”“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I stopped.”
“Give me your camera!”“No I won’t give you this!”“Why not?”“Because it’s my camera!”“Eh!” he looks at me, shocked, thinking this girl has no clue. She doesn’t have a better excuse than that?? “Well… then give me your documents of permission.” (Some journalists can get papers from the government granting them permission to take pictures)“I don’t have documents!”“Eh?! Bien, Then give me your camera.”“No, I’m not giving it to you.”“Brazzaville is across the river and pictures are forbidden there, and pictures are forbidden here too.”“umm.. okay… Sorry, I didn’t know that.”“Do you think I’m crazy for asking you this?”“No I don’t. I am the one who is crazy. I’m sorry, but I am finished, I won’t do it again. And I am finished with you.”He gives me a HUH?? look as I walk quickly away. So that was basically our conversation, but it sounded a lot better in French. Especially the ‘do you think I’m crazy’ part! “Non, je suis fou! Et je suis finis avec vous, monsieur!!”I love French sometimes…but man, I know it was all God that kept me from having to give up the camera. I just was thinking, “what can he do to me? He could try to take me away, but Steve and Todd are right nearby and they’re not gonna let anything happen…I have nothing to fear. Plus, I’m bigger than him.” (okay I didn’t really think the last part!!)My heart was beating really really fast as I sat down again at the table with our group. I was so relieved that was over, but I was surprised that it wasn’t harder than it was to tell him off.
So, have I learned my lesson about taking pictures? Um…well…no. Not really!People have told me stories about people getting arrested for taking pics though, so that kinda worries me. I’m going to definitely be more careful, but I’m thanking God that nothing happened.

I now leave you with 2 pictures of the sunset over the Congo River!